I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
