i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
