Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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