hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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