Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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