So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
