Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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