11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
