i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
