There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
