Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I need a beard to bite.
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