Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The adults are the big ones right?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
