...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she peed on how many people?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
