it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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