belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
