haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
