We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
