Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
