Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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