you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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