So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
