he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
