i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
