I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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