I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
one might say we're banned from that church
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
