I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
