HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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