i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
