btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Every concussion has its silver lining
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
