I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
