The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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