I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
