Kiss
Puke
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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