She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
