Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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