How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
