I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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