I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
