Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
