My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
