I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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