I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
