I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
last night I used snow as a chaser
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