a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
