Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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