OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Randomize
