waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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