ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
