I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
