He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
