I wish I could punch you in the face.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
