You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
